I recently spoke with Jessica Ashley, host of the Single Mom Nation podcast. It’s an honest girlfriend to girlfriend conversation where we talk about…well, marriage crap.
As a former single mother, I discuss with Jessica Ashley how to move forward with you life when you are single parenting and have to deal with the mental and physical clutter that is left over from your marriage. I was a single mom for many years and have helped other individuals going through divorce or loss, so this topic is one that deeply resonates with me.
HOW TO GET ORGANIZED AFTER A DIVORCE
Getting rid of all “the stuff” during divorce or really at any point in life, is an emotional process. This is the stuff that you may no longer even want or like because letting go can trigger emotions like sadness or anger. What I’ve found over my years as a professional organizer working with families is that the longer that you keep an item untouched does not necessarily make it easier to deal with. In some case, the by the time you get to review an item that you have ignored for so many years the more frustrating it can be.
Your physical stuff creates such emotional clutter. I can’t emphasize this enough. That is why I like to stress the act of decluttering and how it is actually cathartic for you both physically and emotionally. I know it is a hassle to let things go but you have to make time to go through your crap because the lingering emotions will forever be attached to those items if you don’t.
Oftentimes people don’t realize how strong of a connection that they have to physical items until they are forced to address them head to head. Sure, even though you may have never got around to using the wedding china that you registered for, keeping the china is a constant reminder of what once was, which can stir up emotions and it is possible to avoid those emotions if you remove the source, which in this case would be the china.
The podcast is a great conversation for addressing multiple points of view when it comes to sifting through the items from your marriage that you are still holding on to. We touch on pride, anger, frustration, and how to deal with the stuff that you accumulate after going through a divorce (especially when dividing your stuff between one another).
Listen in on the podcast to hear it all for yourself, but a big takeaway from the podcast is how large of a role emotional clutter can be play in your life. If there are items in your daily life or home that remind you of a difficult past, bad memory, or that you simply don’t like, those items can start weighing down on you and regardless of their quantity or size make you feel surrounded by clutter.
I’d love to know: is there an item in your home that you no longer want but can’t seem to let go of? If so, what’s keeping you from getting rid of it? Share your comments below.